CTI December

In December, we finished up our Public Speaking class and I had to make up the Church History class since I missed it during maternity leave during my first year.

Public Speaking was one of the most fun classes I've taken yet.

We were given the opportunity to share a 3-5 minute testimony during the last class. I'm going to copy and paste mine here soon.

It was a great time to learn things about our classmates that most of us knew nothing of!

Good Start

I'm excited, yet again! This time it's because I now have the momentum I've been praying for to get back started on the candida cleanse I tried to start back in October of last year.

Since December 28th. I've been faithful to the plan of having no sweets and very little carbs. The toughest part has been omitting my usual cofee with plenty of hazelnut creamer, sodas, and any kind of breads like Schlotzky's sandwiches, burgers, mexican food, etc.

My Myspace Page

After all these years I've heard about Myspace, I never went there until a few weeks ago. So of course I created a page. Much like the other pages I've created with pictures and stuff, this is a great tool to share memories with friends.

It's also a great witnessing tool and a place where many ministries and Christian artists share the love of Christ.

Here's the link to mine

www.myspace.com/jeoffsrib

The Montgomery Girls A Few Years Ago

CTI Update: Since Life Team Transition

Shortly after we moved from the Young Marriage Senior Life Team leadership role, our baby girl was born. We knew that even in the naming of our daughter, some things were about to change in our marriage and our future. The Lord had spoken to me at the beginning of the year, that I needed to step back in trying to figure out names for our daughter and that instead, Jeoff would name this child. He said this would be a turning point in our relationship and it would represent a new season of leadership in his life. Shortly after her birth, we finished up year one of CTI and spent the summer resting some (from classes) and preparing for the internship year. That was a long process.

We initially thought we would intern in separate departments, Jeoff in Worship-Arts-Media or Education, and me in Children's Ministry, AHA or Education, but after meeting a few times with Andy Yonas, Director of CTI, we made the decision to intern together, with CORE Music. It was a little rocky getting to that decision because there were so many areas that we were interested in and felt would be good places to serve, but ultimately we made the internship decision based largely on the fact that music is deeply ground in both our hearts, and is a very large part of our passion. CORE Music was not something that had ever entered into our minds but was actually presented to Jeoff from Andy, as an opportunity to tailor the internship specifically to what his interests are. How cool is that?!

Since we made that decision, the Lord has opened up so many doors of opportunity, not positionally but just doors that have enabled us to serve and create together; and through this it has allowed Him to show us how closely he desires us to work together as a couple. For this season it's in the area of the arts.

Someone made the statement which has become a common saying that goes - "If mama ain't happy, ain't no body happy." I don't disagree with that statement but there is another side to it. While mama's happiness, contentment, and security is directly related to the atmosphere in the home, Daddy's purpose, fulfillment, and success is directly related to the couple's overall obedience to God's will and the effectiveness and legacy of the family. Jeoff said the other night that sometimes it's takes more faith to sit back and let things happen than it takes to "do something." That was mostly for me. There are times, of course, when it's appropriate to go out aggressively after something but in this season, as I've shared before, the biggest lesson I'm learning is to let the Lord move through my husband. There are things that I'm seeing in him regarding his passions, that I have never seen. The last two years of marriage have probably been the toughest, but they have absolutely been the BEST! Making the decision earlier this year to follow my husband's heart and trust what the Lord is doing through him was one of the best decisions I have ever made. and I know without a doubt that it is making lasting impressions on our effectiveness, unity and legacy.

We can't thank the Lord enough!

As mentioned earlier, our baby girl was named by Daddy. Her name Jadyn Ja'el, means "God has heard our prayer to ascend." That's what we believe. He has heard our prayer to ascend. It took courage to lose our fears and to embrace his call. But because we took this step of faith we are able to see things spiritually we were never even aware of.

Really, What ARE the Best of Times?

What ARE The Best of Times?

There are many times throught out life, marriage, career and ministry where one believes they are in the best of time. There are other times that an individual is striving for that time in their life, marriage, career, ministry or other.

I took some time to step back and look at these aspects of my life recently and I can truly say that I am in the best of times!

Not because everything is perfect. Not because I am in that place I want to be ultimately. Not because I have become the perfect wife, mother, or Christian. And not because I have achieved a certain position in ministry.

Well why do you say dat you're in de Best of Times?

Here are the reasons:

1. Stretching

It's a time of being stretched. Being in a place of commitment that is a little beyond what I think I can accomplish is actually a good place. When I'm in a place where I am choosing to do things that I have confidence in myself to complete, I don't think that's actually enough. There's n number of things I can do in my own strength but there's 10 times n that I can do in His strength. During this season in my life there are some choices I've had to make and some responsibilities that I have accepted that are stretching me beyond my natural capabilities.

That's a really good place to be! It will not be pretty, but it will force me to depend on the Holy Spirit and not myself.

2. Growing

It's a time of growth. First, as it pertains to my knowledge of the Lord and the Word; and secondly as it pertains to my knowledge and understanding of covenant marriage.

After a season four and a half years ago, where there was an abundance of time available to spend reading and studying the Bible individually, in corporate settings, or in small groups, I came to the season I am now in, where many more home demands are required. During this season it is actually an aspect of my growth as an individual to seek out ways to continue a form of study that can be accomplished even in this busy-working-mothering season. I'm learning more of the value of accountability and appreciate the courses that I am taking through CTI (School of Ministry) to provide this for me.

In marriage, because we have gone through and are still somewhat going through, a period of tremendous transition, there are countless opportunities for growth. I heard someone say that marriage is not designed to make us happy, but is designed to make us holy. So because of that refining process, it would not be wise of me to trip out when circumstances present themselves that are not pleasing me. What should I do? Line that emotion up with the Word and how it applies specifically to that which I am feeling. It's hardly related to what my husband has done or the amount of stress that this situation has placed upon me that I think is about to make me break. It's all about what the Lord wants me to do at that moment with that emotion I am feeling. What's my output going to be from that? Is it going to be a good fruit ..... of the Spirit......or a stinky, rotten spoiled fruit that's only going to make me sick?

That's the type of growing that's going on in me right now. But why you gotta be all deep? It's either deep or shallow and flaky. But I have to choose. And I hope more and more often I will choose the deep.

It's been one of the most challenging seasons for both of us but this 7th year has been absolutely the best year! Because of this type of growh and stretching. Making U-Turns and Knowing Who We're Truly Dealing With. Not the ugly that sometimes rises up when attacks ensue, but knowing the heart of who we married, and what (and Who) is at the heart of the Covenant we've made.

3. Faith Fueling

This has been a faith fueling time. Mostly because of what we see around us. It's exciting and faith fueling to see what is being done in the lives of others around us that we know and love, and the body of believers we love and serve. So many things have been prophesied over Covenant Church, the family we are sown into. From multiplication, to elevation, to territory enlargement! There are individual things we see in those we know which would be too many to name. That fuels my faith! Not to mention the step by step revelations the Father has made to us, each time we step out on something that doesn't make a lot of sense at the onset.

So I'm just ready! Ready to step out more. Ready to see more that's being done in others. Beyond what can be done to bless me and my household, I'm excited to see what will be done in those around me as well!

I need to ask myself from time to time, before I begin to label the "time" I am in.   Questions to ask myself: a.Are you comfortable in what you're doing with your gifts and talents, it may be time to stretch myself.  b. Are you stagnant in your growth, it may be a time to readjust some things so I can get in a place to learn more.  And know that that may also invlove some difficult journeys.  c. Are you discouraged or doubtful about your future, I may need to look around and see some of the things the Lord is doing around me and let that fuel my own faith for what He'll do in and through me!

The Best of Times. Is it all it's cracked up to be? It's that and it's more! It may take some going "toe to toe" but after the big dance there is a graceful bow. Not in our own honor. But in honor of the one Who is making it all happen!

 

O Lord My Strength and My Redeemer

The words from Psalm 19:14 are most often heard as someone recites it as a prayer. And often times as a prayer before speaking or preaching.

"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. "

But the other day I began to reflect on it for my own personal encouragement.

The Lord brought it to my attention again tonight. As I prepare to turn in from another long day. This word from God's word provided just what I needed.

There again was a Thought Exchange (see previous post entitled His Thoughts are Not My Thoughts).

I gave to him my frustrations of the day........what could have been complaints (if I had dwelled on them) about what I did wrong or what I did not get around to accomplishing.

I exchanged that for thoughts of praise to my God, my King. For my life, my limbs, my sanity, my family, and my purpose (which is really His purpose). Just to name a few.

His Strength is made perfect in my weakness

My Redeemer Lives

".....Oh Lord my strength and my redeemer."

With those thoughts, I can go to bed in peace and I can be more effective for him....

8/2/06

The Last Rubber Band

It's 11:58PM and on the table, there lies the scattered group of rubber bands I just removed from Moriah's hair.  I am noting this because from here on out (as long as I can stand to do otherwise) I plan to place no more rubber bands in Moriah's hair. 

 

I read information all the time about the damage that rubberbands to the hair but had not seriously looked into alternatives (other than the cloth ponytail holders I use from time to time) until tonight, after I had picked them up from a babysitter and saw Ja'el's hair in twists.  It was so cute,  and I didin't mind that the sitter did it.

 

So I looked into this option for Moriah after sitting down at the end of a  long day and researching online.

 

Speaking  of the day it was a great one!

 

The first 'outing' of the day for me was CTI Worship.   Second year school of ministry students, CORE students, and any first year and school of business who want to join - participate once a month in a worship seminar held by the Intercessory Prayer Ministry. 

 

Today, Pastor Tim led us in worship, taught a lesson on worship, then continued with more worship. 

 

Among many things, we learned about the parallel between the Outer Court, Inner Court, and The Holy of Holies, with Psalms, Hymns, and Spiritual Songs (Ephesians 5:19, Colosians 3:16).   Very powerful word.

 

We were taught that when we sing psalms we are at an experiential level, in the soulish realm, the Outer Court, talking about what God has done for us, what He is doing, and so on (Can't Nobody Do Me Like Jesus, What Do You Know About Jesus?  He's Alright).  Often times if we're not careful, we're more into the groove, the beat, etc.  Not always, but often. There's nothing wrong with psalms, but the Lord desires that we go further.

 

When we sing hymns we're delcaring the doctrines of God, we move to the Inner Court, we're speaking of His nature (You Are The King of Kings, You Are the Almighty Creator, Our God is an Awesome God).  Often times, but not always, we're affected by the feel-good-ness of the song, and that in itself is not bad. 

 

Oh, but when spiritual songs are written, and when we sing spiritual songs.  We have taken the next step into the Holy of Holies.  The veil is removed, and we are naked before the Lord with all of our issues, hangups, we're transparent before him and we begin to allow him to move in our hearts.  But in order to go there we have to go beyond the veil that's blocking us from being totally free to become intimate with him.

 

Worship is not just what we sing, it's what we do.  It's what we were created to do.  It's not only about music.  It's also how God reaches out to fellowship with us - unlike no other religion!  We no longer need a priest to go to the Father for us, we have full access becasue of the work that Jesus did on the cross.  Hallelujah!

 

The rest of the morning and afternoon was spent hanging out with the kids, cleaning up, administrating nap times, visiting with Julie about life and Internship with CTI/CORE Music and Worship, visiting with Jatoya,  getting dance clothes for Moriah from the outlet dance wear store, and returning home for wind-down, bathing, and prayer with the kiddos before they turned in.

 

Long after Moriah was fast asleep, I went back to her room, brought her to the family room couch, and began to remove the tight rubber bands from her hair, much like the areas that block us from beig free and open for intimate fellowhip with the Father!

 

I pray her hair will be much more free to breath and grow now! As we are when we remove the barriers that are blocking us from this freedom.

 

When was the last time you removed one of those tight rubber bands?

 

(p.s. I plan to follow the online instructions in the morning, for putting her hair in twists.  We'll see how it goes.  If I really like how it turns out I'll post a pik.  If I'm not too thrilled, I'll hold off on the picture until I take her to a pro!)


Update 10/21: I have a picture to post but I cannot figure out how to get one on here again!!!


In the meantime here's a link to it Moriah Twist Pik

 

 

The last rubber band was removed from Moriah's hair at approximately 11:40pm.

 

 

 

 

New Life Part II

Had a mini-slumber party tonight with Kourtnei, Moriah and Monte. K came over while her parents were at Imari's football game. They BEAT Hebron High (last year's 4A State Champions), 42-6!! Go Longhorns. They are now 2-0 for the season.

We had homemade burgers and watched Leap Frog's - The Storybook Factory.

They finally went to sleep after bath time, Moriah fussing about wanting to sleep in the middle and reminding me that I needed to give her a kiss-hug-and-love before she could go to sleep.

Now getting ready to turn in for the night.....

But before I do, here's another tidbit from New Life Live, that I've been wanting to write for the past two weeks (See post entitled "New Life" for background on this):

The last time I tuned in, the hosts were sharing with a caller about relationships, dealing with flaws in ourselves and our mates, etc.

One thing that stuck with me was when they told this lady who was dealing with some severe issues with her husband - that when dealing with those types of things it's never about the behavior itself. Whether it's an affair, gambling, a sexual addition, anger, physical abuse, you name it. The question one must ask is, "what is the underlying condition that is causing the person (or you) to exhibit this behavior?" The behavior is just a manifestation of the person not being healthy.

If we're Christians, our spirit man is perfect and righteous. When we are married, we become one in the spirit with our spouse. We are joined with the Father. After a period of time being married, we most often begin, or continue, to see more of the flaws and sins of our mates. When there is sin or hurt that has not been dealt with, we become more and more unhealthy, more and more broken. If it is not dealt with, this sickness can manifest itself through the behaviors mentioned above - emotional or physical affairs, addictions, physical abuse, excessive spending, prolonged unforgiveness or bitterness, and others.

The counselors on the show encouraged those who find themselve in these situations to find out through prayer and/or counseling, what the root of these behaviors are.

We must also remember that this behavior does not represent the true identity of the individual. If the person is in Christ, we can be assured that he/she can be renewed by the Spirit of God, back to our God-ordained state of righteousness. If it is us, we must know that we can be renewed by the power of the Holy Spirit! When Father God looks as us, He sees purity, because Jesus Christ is our mediator.

When we enounter these situations, we can have confidence in, and speak over our lives and the situation, the words of Ephesians 6:

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints"

Chapel at 7:30AM tomorrow! Can we make it????

Why am I awake?

Because I told Moriah that I would lay down in her room with her for a while.....until she went to sleep. The sleep got pretty good I guess, because I 'just now' woke up!

We had a pretty good day today.

I actually took about a two hour nap!! What?

Hallelujah!

Shampooed Moriah's hair and gave her a hot oil treatment.

Shampooed lots of clothes. :-)

Watched Madagascar,.....again.

"I like to move it move it!"

New Life

I was talking with a young lady today, about marriage and life, and after discussing some things about her marriage which has unfortunately come to a tremendously difficult place, I began to share some things with her that I have heard on the radio show - New Life Live.

I am not a professional counselor but during my conversation with her, I was so thankful that I had been tuning in to this show here and there. The radio program is entitled, New Life Live.

There are so many practical tips and answers to questions regarding the things that are at the ROOT of many of the problems that we earthlings face in marriage, relationships, family, personal life, integrity, and our walk with Christ in general.

So I wanted to highly recommend the program here in my blog for anyone who may not have heard of this ministry and are interested in seeing what it's about.

You can get information at the website below, listen live, read the radio show blog, and even download free podcasts.

The time and station I tuned into was at 1PM on 100.7FM The Word FM.

http://www.newlife.com/
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/new_life_live/?


"Stephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries - the nation's largest faith-based broadcast, counseling and treatment ministry - and is the host of the nationally syndicated "New Life Live!" daily radio program heard on over 180 radio stations nationwide, on two satallite stations, and around the world online. "

It's All Worth It

It's 9:19PM (as I'm starting this). Pupster and Kitty just finished watching a movie, while eating grapes and Wheat Thins and sitting in their makeshift beds made out of a laundry basket, a pillow, and a blanket. It was so cute.  Kitty has coordinated another Family Fun Night (You know from Lilo and Stich 2?).

Of course they were in pretend mode and pretending to be parent and child. Can you guesss who played each role? Of course, the eldest played the parent. She had all kinds of ideas of things that she wanted her "son" to comply with throughout the adventure. "Be quiet, sit up, lay down, let's go to sleep now, ok come on lets' go to xyz...." Fun to watch.

After the movie, they were off to the room and rambled around and fussed a bit and Kitty just walked in with her back pack on and Pupster with his "suitcase" and Kitty says "Hi Teacher. Where are the other kids?" I have to play the part and and answer as she said "You said bring suitcases and tie backpacks, right Mrs. Sissus? What are we going to learn about today? Then she says you have to say 'Hello children' then you have to say 'How are you all today.....and now you have to read us a story......." Of course with Monte repeating every word. Oh goodness. Too funny.

So I ask her to go get the book and she's off to the back pack to bring a favorite book.

I'll be signing out now.

Watching and participating in this tonight makes all the frustrations of the week double worth it!!

The fact that the school asked me to take Lamby to the doctor for what they believed was diarrhea to ensure that she was not contagious. Took off work to do so and the doctor sent a note home with me that says "Lamby does not have diarrhea, she has normal breastfed stools." It was very frustrating initially, but it was all worth it because she stayed home with me and I was able to work from home.

Going through Target with the kiddos to shop for a "few things" and explain over and over why we are only getting ONE treat for each child and we're NOT buying toys. It was all worth it because at least they were all fed before we got there. That would have been a nightmare if they had not. Anyone done that before?

I could go on, but the point :-) is (while I try to finish as Pupster TRIES to kick me in my back for more drink) that all those things are so worthwhile. Especially after the fun moments like this tonight.

Oh cute.....Kitty just said "I'm drawing a picture of us playing with Grandma while Mommy and Daddy are on a date."

The Pupster standing on top of the basket prentending to fall saying....whoaaaaa! I love the way he says that!

(While we're having this late night fun, of course baby sister is fast asleep.....this time)

"Crystals" all over the wash load - July 31 Part III

So I go to the washer to remove my last load of the night, open the lid and to my surprise and kenfewshen, I see white, shiny crystals all over the fleece blankets and everything else. I'm like what in the ……. world is this? I removed part of the load and there we have it, most of the innards of a Huggies brand pull-up stuck to the side of the washer. The rest was intertwined into the fabric of every item in the washer. Now, after doing tons of housework ALL day, I have to take everything out, dig out the remains of the demoslished toddler training pants, and rewash everything.... everything!

That means another 30 minutes for it to finish washing, then and only then put it in the dryer. Why me! Why didn't it work out the way I planned? Aaaaaarrrrggghhh!

How did I make it through? Humor and Grafefulness

I had to laugh at how funny the "stuff" looked in the washer. And it made me think of all the times (just a few right?) when I saw those "crystals" on my boy's bottom because the pull-up was left there a tad bit too long. And I was grateful that all of the other GOOD things had happened throughout the day and the weekend, to make up for frustrating ones like these.

Whistle while you work - July 31 Part II

The naps for the three mouseketeers were out of sync today but two of them did sleep simultaneously. More R - E - L - I - E - F. While Monte and Ja'el slept, we watched Moriah build some sort of machine with her blogs and listened as she described to us exactly how it works and how she came up with the idea using her imagination. That was really nice to see.

After their naps when everyone was awake we tuned into some internet old school "jams" and cranked up the external speakers on the computer. We remeinisced, laughed, and danced while we worked in the family room and kitchen. That was fun!

Then it was back to work, cleaning the tub, kids bath time, dryoffs, dressing in bed clothes, cleaning up toys AGAIN, bedtime routine, then our final Kiss, Hug, and Love (in that order) for the night. They wouldn't have it any other way.

The last load to wash for the night was the kids blankets for naptime at school. After that I could quickly toss them into the dryer, kiss the kids goodnight, go through my cooling down routine (More R - E - L - I - E - F) quietly drift off to sleep and wake up at 5:30 after having a full eight hours of sleep.

Long Weekend - July 31 Part I

We had a very long weekend. Good, but long. Friday night we hung out at my parents' place for a couple of hours. The kids always love to hang out with either of their grandparents. It's free entertainmnet! Plus we get to share with them, stories of funny things that have happened throughout the week. And it's just good to spend time with parents, since we're so fortunate to have them.

When we returned home, the kids were all sleep! They went to bed and Jeoff and I watched a movie. Cool! It had been a while. R - E - L - I - E - F

Saturday, we attended an end of summery party at the Montessori school where the kids now attend (I love the things they're learning there). There were tons of parents and family members there and dishes from lots of different cultures (Indian, American, Soul Food, Mexican,..)

The Pre-K Four and Kindergarten classes danced on stage to a couple of Elvis tunes and Moriah impressed us doing The Twist with her partner, spinning and twirling. It was entirely cute.

That evening was Saturday night service, and after getting all the kids checked into their classes I was able to go in and relax and let go of all of my burdens from the day and the week! R - E - L - I - E - F

We spent most of the day on Sunday cleaning up, washing pounds and pounds of clothes, folding and "starting" the put away. How many clothes do these people wear in one week?? Goodness!

Sometimes do you miss being by yourself?

Part 4 of 4 in a dialogue I recently had with a friend.

Question: Sometimes do I miss being by myself?

Answer: NEVER

ABSOLUTELY NEVER

Not because I was lonely, but because now that we're in this union, I need him and I wouldn't be right without him. The time window, before we were married, I DIDN'T NEED HIM, nor does a single person NEED SOMEONE in that sense. Because during that window - GOD FILLS THAT VOID when you let him. And when you move into the window of being married, the spouse as well as GOD fills the void. When you're single, He provides what you need through his Holy Spirit, the comforter, through someone else, .....within his will of course. (I was rambling here. It's a paste from an IM discussion I had with my cousin)

Note: I do understand that there's another way to look at this question my friend asked (thanks for pointing that out Pam).

To rephrase it...... Do I ever wish I had more quiet time for myself? Yes. But I understand that will take some effort on my part (to plan it ahead of time i.e. coordinate with my husband's schedule, get a babysitter, etc.) so I can have more quiet time for myself.

I still wouldn't say that I miss being by myself though. To miss something means to long for it. That I do not. (I know that may seem anal. My husband says something like 'I'm always breaking down sentences and questions to the literal meanings of words and stuff'. Maybe it's just because I just like words!) :-)

We all see through different glasses and filters though, based on our temperament and life language. That (what I have written here) is my perspective at this season in life.

Does your husband ever get on your nerves?

Part 3 of 4 in a dialogue I recently had with a friend.

Does he get on my nerves?

Yes but you do too, and I still love you right? - just kidding -

It just happens. It's the human part of us. You might relate to the fact that some of the very things you LOVED about your spouse when you fell in love are the same things that get under your skin later. But we have to understand that that's love. If it all stayed "perfect" that would be fantasy. The fact is we are emotional beings. As I learn how to submit my negative, ungodly emotions to Christ, it becomes much much easier to love the way Christ loves.

Do you and your husband argue?

Part 2 of 4 in a dialogue I recently had with a friend.

Do my husband and I argue?

Of course yes!!

It be HEATED sometimes!!!

But just as we argue passionately, we love and support each other passionately and we come out of whatever storm we were into!

Cuz we know it's the FLESH! and we know (and realize later) that "we wrestle not against flesh and blood!'

He's not my enemy! Satan is.

But Satan tries to convince men and women that we're each other's enemy. He hates marriage and any other union that is created by God.

Note: Don't get me wrong. We're not crazy people yelling and cursing at each other. But we do have highly passionate discussions sometimes when we are trying to get our points across. No we don't let the sun go down on our wrath! Most of the time we end up laughing about it right after! Or soon after. Did I tell you abou the car trip to Houston about 5 years ago, that we will NEVER forget???? It was up down up down up down LOL

The most important part is that it ends. And how it ends. My husband does a very good job of taking an aerial view and pointing us back to our true Peacemaker, to resolve the issues.

What's it really like being married?

Part 1 of 4 in a dialogue I recently had with a friend.

Question: What's it really like being married? A lot of my friends have dysfunctional relationships and sometimes i wonder if i want to get married...i do, but its easy being single.

Answer: Regarding the friends with dysfunctional relationships....we have friends like that too and without the Holy Spirit, ours would be!

That's not so say the couples whose marriage ends up suffering do not know the Lord. I'm only sharing what I believe has helped us and still does. Practical things that we have been encouraged to do...and we share that with others in hopes that it would help them as well.

Since we've been married, we've tried to place ourselves around other Christian couples -- for accountability, to give to and receive counsel, and to see that we're not the only ones who have challenges.

Unfortunately, the friends who I've seen that end up REALLY going through and getting separated, or divorced are the ones who did not have that kind of accountability in their lives or had it and lost it (or moved away from it). That's one thing that I have valued about Covenant because they stress that soooo much even the pastors are part of a small group (we call them Life Teams at Covenant).

Disclaimer: For anyone reading this and you are going through a difficult time in your marriage, there is hope. Regardless of what has gone on in the past, the Lord is able to restore. There have been times in our relationship where I felt the situation was impossible (in the natural) to resolve. But when we both surrendered the situation to him, and humbled ourselves before him, He truly became the strength we needed and turned things completely around. He can do the impossible! To the wife who is in a situation that seems to be hopeless, you feel you've surrendered but he has not, I'm not a specialist in that but those who I have know who have faced it --- found great comfort, wisdom, and direction in a good Bible based counselor who walked them through this difficult season of their life. I've seen miracles even in those situations!! Don't give up.

When I said, without the Holy Spirit, our marriage would be dysfunctional.... I said that because we are two stubborn, spoiled, youngest children who like things their way, want to have attention, want to be catered to, don't particulary like correction or people giving advice when we think we have the better answer, aren't QUICK to serve one another, .... the list goes on.

But at the same time, we both Love God, fear God, and honor marriage and our commitment to Him above ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING ELSE. We know that without the Holy Spirit we would have hit or shot each other many times in the past, left and never came back, you name it. (I know that's a little extreme but you get my point.) So to prevent that LOL, we decided at the beginning (with advice given at a premarital session at Preston Wood *highly recommended), --- that we wouldn't let a year go by with out going to some type of marriage conference, retreat, workshop,etc. And we haven't let a year go by without that.

Sometimes we go to three or four. You don't go when you start having major problems, you go to prevent them and learn how to deal with conflicts. One of the conferences we attended, the minister (Jimmy Evans) talked about the importance of depending on the Holy Spirit and how without doing so, we would be the total opposite of what were are called to be.

That's who we give credit to.... the Holy Spirit of God!!

So what's it like? It's tough. But each day we die to ourselves, we add another day of life to our marriage!

Do you think you all will have more children?

It may be too soon, but are ya thinkin’ about rounding it out to four? …maybe get another little boy?

Remember I mentioned earlier I met a lady recently who has nine children?. I would love to keep going after three and have even more, we just have to get to the place where we know for sure we're going to move forward.

This part might sound lofty or something but it's really how I feel -

The Lord gives us children to be a heritage and for us to teach them the ways of God so they can grow up and impact his kingdom. When I think about having more children to increase my contribution to that, it's very exciting. There are two types of people in the world.... those who have accepted Christ and are children of God and those who have not yet done so. Those of us who have are called to share Christ with those who don't know him. So the more people who know him, the more there are who can go out and share him with others.

So the real part of that of course is wondering how hard it would be to manage them all, will they get lost in a big family and not get enough individual attention, how much money it would cost to raise them and live "comfortably," and yes how much it would cost to put them through college. Those are lots of things to consider but in my mind they are only temporal things. When I'm thinking very spiritual, my thought is this - I should never make the decision on whether or not to have another child based on anything in the natural. Regarding managing a bunch of little ones, ..that time passes, they grow up and before you know it those little ankle biters turn into stable mature individuals who bring you rewarding grandchildren and big family reunions! Regarding all of the financial aspects, the fact to the matter when I think spiritually, is that God will provide for every need we have. The mother who I met who has 9 children told me that everytime they had a child they received a financial increase. It got to the point that they would get excited when they found out they were pregnant because they knew God was going to give them a raise in some way!

Having said that, I still don't know.

How do I feel physically? After the childbirth?

I feel fat! I had started gaining wait even before I became pregnant with Ja'el and at that point I like the way I looked in my jeans! Finally I had some hips. But after she was born, I weighed even more than I did before which itself was more than what I was used to. So I'm having to try to figure out how to work into my schedule, time for walking, running, ab exercises, swimming going to the gym or something.

I need to give up cokes and sweets again which I had successfully done before (during the beginning of pregnancy) but I haven't been able to shake it this time. At least not yet!

I have more energy when I drink more water, take my vitamins, and when I pray at night and in the morning. So that's really up to me and disciplining myself to do so.

Like in the last 24 hours, Jeoff had to work 7p-7a so I took the kids to church and volunteered in Monte's class, bathed them, got clothes and bottles ready for the next day, read a devotional, sent some e-mails, woke up at 6, read a devotional, bathed them again, gave them cereal, did their lotion and skin cream, dropped them off at school and got to work by 8am.

But I can tell you that IS ABSOLUTELY NOT what happens every day. I can also tell you though, that the days that I pray and read from the word or a devotional that includes his word, I feel like I can do 10x more than without it. Does that make sense? My problem for a while has been that my prayer and devotional time ebbs and flows. There are things in our lives that should be allowed to do so, but not our prayer and devotional time. I'm speaking to myself here.... How else should I expect to get through each day and all of the frustrations that come and go, if I don't submit to him everyday and give him my problems...... not try to take them on in my own strength.

For now I'm just rejoicing in the days that I do surrender it all to him and he MOST DEFINITELY comes through and is faithful to provide the strength I need when I'm weak.

How’s it going with three children?

Another response to a question from a friend:

"
With three with three with three. Let me first say that I met a lady a few weeks ago who has nine kids! I used to feel like I really had it tough with three, until I heard how many she had. That made me feel like "quit trippin' about your three!" Like "you need to just 'man up'. It's not that bad.

But I have to realize that because they're doing it with 9, doesn't mean 3 is not still hard. And just because I'm doing it with 3 doesn't mean 2 is not hard for someone else and 1 is not hard, etc. etc. I could go on.... Just being married with no kids ...... being engaged ... being single!!!
So let's see, aside from the fact that it's fun, it's rewarding, it's wonderful to see how much they look alike and how many things in their looks are unique from each other...and so on......
It's tough going places with the three of them when it's just me. When I have to go to the grocery store, or God-forbid the mall. Grocery store is okay if I'm not there for long and they have a basket that seats Monte and Moriah. Then I can put Ja'el in the basket part and get a few groceries and pile them around her or have Monte and Moriah hold the overflow :-)
Discipline is the other hurdle that we're working on. Monte is going through his two year old challenging stage. It seems like he's coming to the latter part of it though thank God. For a while he used to take off running whenever we would go out side of the house, out in the foyer at church, going in and out of their school, ...almost everywhere. One time I went to the mall and I had to get one of those backpack things with a strap so I could hold onto him while I pushed the stroller with Ja'el and also watch Moriah. (I didn't have the double stroller available at the time because I didnt' get it out of storage in time for the trip I was taking to the mall. Poor planning on my part. But the backpack thing worked pretty well.)

Oh and there was the first trip to the doctor's office with all three of them. Bad decision. But I learned a lot from it. It was Ja'el's two week visit. Moriah and Monte stayed home with me for a few weeks to save money from paying day care. Getting out of the car and going into the doctor's office was fine. The waiting room wasn't even bad. It was walking down the hallway to the "patient room" and chasing down "the boy" and keeping him from getting into stuff. Once we got into the room and he and Ja'el had been weighed and measured, I had to sit down in the patient room with Ja'el in my arms and try to keep him and Moriah under control with only one hand. I had not done enough prepping with them to instruct them on how they should behave in such a situation. And what really made me mad was when the nurse practitioner or whatever her title was came in and started talking with us and doing their exams,and after seeing him be all over the place and not listen, she would call his name and look in his eye and follow the "text book rules" for speaking to a toddler get him to say "ok" It made me feel like she was trying to prove that this is the way you talk to them, what you're doing is not working. Whatever. She was partly right though. The reason I didn't do what I would have normally done in private was because I felt I would look and sound like a crazy woman. I'm learning now to speak differently to them when disciplining them. In a way that will be acceptable in public and also in private. I still fail sometimes but I'm working on it!

I could go on... "

How’s it going with the new baby?

A friend asked me this question yesterday and after sending her the e-mail response I decided to post part of it in the blog.

"It's going pretty good. The first couple of months were tough of course. I think the worst part of that time period was trying to make car trips with the three of them. You know how some babies (a lot of babies) get quiet when you get in the car and get going? Well much of the time she was just the opposite. Sometimes when I would get to the light and stop she would get quiet and then when it came time for me to go and get on the highway or whatever, she would start screaming. And sometimes scream until we got to where we were going.

When we're riding in the Camry, Moriah sits in the middle so she can be on pacifier duty and make sure she at least has that as an option, for calming down.

Sometimes I (or all five of us) had to stop at the service station or somewhere and get her out of the seat and hold her for a while so she'll calm down. Sometimes it was because she needed to burp again. Who knew?? Maybe I just wasn't as in tune with the needs of this stage as I was with Moriah and to a certain extent with Monte.

So how's it going now? The car rides are much much better. She coos a lot more now and she burps much more easily, so she's much happier.

At night she's sleeping for longer periods of time, but she's starting to suck her two middle fingers (next to the pinky) to get back to sleep. I would much rather her nurse during that time to keep up my milk supply and provide her with much better nutrients but sometimes I'm so tired or in the middle of trying to complete some chore that I let her continue. Or if it's in the middle of the night now, I don't realize that she woke up and did it. Before she would wake up and fidget and I would hear her and would get her and nurse her. I realize that she doesn't wake up because she's hungry but nursing at night gives her more closeness with me and gives her more nutrition, immune building, etc. So since she just started doing this in the last week it's frustrating."

Status Report - July 27, 2006

Here's my status report for this point in this season in life. Just a quick one. Hopefully the future ones will be in more detail.

Age: 34

Married 6 years, one month, and three days!

Three children: Ages 4, 2, and 3 1/2 months

Occupation: QA Analyst / Contractor

Industry: Financial Instituion

Ministry: Jeoff and I recently moved from a leadership role in the Young Marriage Ministry to focus more specifically on the path to the call that God has for us.
We are currently enrolled in Covenant Church's - Covenant Training Institute - in the School of Ministry. We completed the first year and are about to enter into our internship year. I will be interning in the Children's Ministry, with specific focus in the areas of Music - Drama and Dance, and Jeoff will be enterning in the Worship Arts Media Department of the ministry.