I actually said the word. And I actually experienced it. I never thought I would and I didn't recognize it when it first began.
I'm going to come back and write some more about it, but wanted to at least share the initial fact that it happened. I want to share it, because a lot of people go through it, but don't write about it.
There was so much going on at the same time, a fairly new job as a Manager, which I had not done before, going to a very aggressive school of ministry program, expecting a third child, trying to fulfill the jobs of wife, homemaker, and mother of 2 preschoolers, managing a property (duplex) with my husband, AND recently completed a 12 week Crown Financial small group study with other leaders in our Life Team zone. Mama was challenged, to say the least!!
But I learned sooo much through that experience and I came to realize that in all of this, I had been neglecting some very fundamental things that are essential in my walk with the Lord.
It was almost as if I had to start over again, and the Lord was showing me that "you really have to depend on me for every single thing you do, including waking up in the morning with peace of mind, and being able to fall asleep in peace, ...being able to get dressed and go to work, ...having the will to keep living."
I believe I had to experience that at this important time in my life. I believe I I grew so much closer to the Lord during that time and my trust was deepened.
It actually became the subject of my CTI 2nd year, Public Speaking Presentation!
I'm going to post it when I find the Word document......
