Gutts or Fluff?

Warning: I don't claim that this is a well-written piece. It's just me putting stuff out there when I had a moment, didn't have a chance to perfect it, soo I just typed until family called............

I've been thinking about that topic this week after reading a post from a former classmate on our alumni site, then after hearing a similar comment from another friend. It was about being fake vs. real, in our friendships and other relationships. Hence, the title:

Fluff, of course, meaning fake

and

Gutts, first meaning the real stuff that's inside and second meaning having what it takes (the gutts) to be that real.

After pondering those thoughts this week, I had a chance to put it into practice. I was having a challenging morning. My emotions were high, it had been a long, busy week, and I wasn't feeling good about myself, my accomplishments, my hair, none of that.

In the midst of all of it, I received two phone calls. During both phone calls I had a choice. I could have done the usual "hello! ... oh hey girl, how's it going?" and after they said I'm good how are you, I could have said "I'm doing well" or "I'm doing fine" in the usual chipper voice.

But I didn't. I spoke in a casual low-tone voice. With one caller I shared exactly how I was feeling and told some of the details. There are times when I would have done that anyway, or I would have done it with certain people and not others. Or I would have just not answered the phone.

Today I just felt like going for the gutt and not the fluff.

With the other friend, I didn't go into details because I had to get the other call on the other line. Other times I would have gotten my "chipper" fluff on and said "hey girl, let me call you back" but I didn't chipper and fluff up I just talked straight in the tone I was feeling.

Later I thought about it and wondered, how do people feel when they hear you in that tone? I've actually heard some people comment that "oooh she was in such a bad mood!" or "oh my she could have sounded more pleasant couldn't she?" or "man, why did she just blow me off?"

Some of those same people - or others - might say, when I spill my gutts about what I'm really going through instead of going for the fluff, may respond in silence or just give me one of those "well we all go through something..... don't be such a whiner.... don't come to me with all your pity, we all have problems" or "she's just trying to make it seem like she has it so bad, she should be thankful, at least she ----blah-blah-blah"

All in all, I can't worry about all that. I can't control how other people take what I say or do. And I also can't allow my worries about how they will take what I say, launch me into this fluffy-bubbly-Barbie/Christie-girl demeanor and not DEAL WITH what I have going on.

I have found that when I go fluff, I conceal my issue and it takes me longer to DEAL WITH it through prayer, or confession, or a good conversation about it with a girfriend, mother, my husband, etc.

But when I "go gutts", I can get it out of the way and find the healing necessary. It can sometimes bring healing and peace to the other person(s) involved as well.

As long as it's balanced with love, grace, and encouragment, we can all benefit from some gutts every once in a while!