To my friend, on the subject of dating....

Below, is an edited response to a friend:

---------------------------------------------------------------------
I know there are tons and tons of good resources out there about this, but this is just my words from the heart......

I would start with two simple things, that will not change over the years. There will be more details and more ways that you have to consider things and make decisions based on the circumstance, but these are two underlying principles that come to mind. Don't forget them.

1. Honor the Lord above all
2. Guard your heart

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I placed the scriptures below and a link under each scripture which give a little more information regarding the passage of scripture. I included the link because I'd like you to research things like this, and sift through it and determine what you will take away from it.
I think you should hear advice but also search out the Word of God and determine what is right, based on what God says.

The Two Principles
1. Honor the Lord
1 Corinthians 6:19-20, "What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."
http://lurasbookcase.com/honoring-god.shtml

2. Guard Your Heart
Proverbs 4:23 says, "Keep (or guard) your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."
http://www.biblicalstudies.com/bstudy/expostudy/heart.htm
---------------------------------------------------------------------

My take on principle #1 Honoring the Lord:
When you choose to do this, you will definitely stand out and be different from others. There are people who are Christians and either really do not know what all it means to honor the Lord, or know what that means and just don't do it.

The passage, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, speaks of honoring the Lord with your body and also glorifying God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. This is more than not being physically intimate with someone. It's dealing with your body and your spirit. It's helping you to understand that everything about you belongs to God and He is in control of every aspect of your life. Even this season of your life that you are seeking God regarding "dating".

As you make decisions like this, the Lord is looking down on you with incredible pride. That you want to honor him in your relationships. He wants you to intimately know HIM before you intimately know anyone else. Not just physical intimacy. Before you give your heart to anyone else, the Lord wants you to be totally in love with him. So much so, that when you meet someone, your love for God and your commitment to him stand out. Not in a loud, shouting, manner, but in an honorable, respectful way. Some people will see you and recognize that there is something about you. That your heart is somewhere else first (with the Lord) and not wanting. And just wishing that someone would love you and want to be with you.

That part, the heart, will be further explored in the next principle. Guard your heart.

As you are honoring the Lord, and building your relationship with him, focus on what it is the Lord has gifted you to do, in the body of Christ and passionately pursue that. That's what you were put on earth to do, to bring glory to him by using your gifts to bring others to Christ and edify the body of Christ. Ephesians 4:12 "equipping the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Before we go to guarding the heart, let's detour just a shade..... and explore, the correct definition of friend.

Many people will call someone who they go out with, their friend, just because they don't want to make a committment to them.

That's not the way to define friend.

What do you do with friends? Things like talking on the phone (but not too late at night, and not about things that will cause you to think unGodly).

If you go out, try to go out with another couple or in places where there are other people.

As a precaution, you may NOT want to go to their house alone or have them come to your house alone, or be somewhere alone with them where there are not other people around.

Another note about friends. Friends do the same things that a brother and sister would do. If you wouldn't say it to your brother or sister, or do it with your brother or sister, don't do it with a friend.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Principle #2 Guard Your Heart
The verse, Proverbs 4:23, says keep your heart or guard your heart with all dilligence. It also says, out of it flows the issues of life. Issues!!! When you think about it, most of the issues that you see people caught up in, have something to do with a matter of the heart. Someone who was supposed to love them! and didn't, someone who left them, or hurt them, or cheated on them, lied to them, abused them, etc. And they all have to do with matters of the heart. Matters that initially drew us in by our hearts. We trusted someone, loved someone, committed ourselves to someone, you name it.

So God says guard your heart!! Not just calmly but agressively. He says, guard your heart with all dilligence. Think about how you dilligently study something, or dilligently look for something that you've lost. That takes time and effort! That's what you have to do regarding your heart.

When you meet someone that you even half-way like. You begin to feel something in your heart, right? Well, at that point you have to check it! Check yourself and make sure that you're not allowing yourself to go down a path of fantasy, wondering, wishing, hoping that you could be with this person more, or hoping they will like you or accept you, or even when they will call you again. Wontin' and wontin' like the lady on The Nutty Proffesor said! You must guard your heart! Because if you don't, you can guarantee that you will find yourself badly caught up in one of the many issues in life. I know I did, back in the day!

Following this principle will not make you totally immune from issues. But it will help you avoid self-inflicted heart wounds.