I heard Gary and Barb Rosberg's show one Friday evening and almost couldn't believe it when I heard them encourage the married couples listening, to go and have a good fight that weekend!Of course they didn't mean have a knock-down drag out physical fight, they were talking about communication. It actually made sense because their show that day was about conflict in marriage.
They gave several tips about how to effectively deal with conflict and they encouraged us by saying conflict is normal and healthy.
Often times, we do not deal with the root of issues that are bothering us about our spouse, until we are in a conflict. The very atmostphere of a conflict allows us to air out our honest feelings and bring them to our spouse's attention.
It's not black and white, though. I'm sure some disagree with this and some may even prefer not to ever have conflicts in their marriage. The extreme of that, if we are not careful, is to live in fear of sharing with our spouse, our true feelings that need to be known. It would be damaging for years and years to pass, without sharing those feelings, and even more damaging to only share those with someone other than your spouse.
It's best to get it out. But there are rules for how to do so in love, without hurting each other, without taking offense, and all the while..... drilling down to the root of the issue until it is resolved!
For more tips from some of the experts see the following:
1 comment:
It is so hard to learn how to fight fair, but it's so important. Knowing when and how to share and knowing when to let things slide is a difficult balance.
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